My Love
by weepingelm
Summary: Arthur and Merlin are living together when Male Homosexuality is illegal and as the Act to decriminalise it is going though Parliament. Then tragedy strikes. Very sad. ONE SHOT Modern A/U major character death


August 1967

Arthur Pendragon was sat in a funeral car as he thought back over the years he and his partner had had together. And wished it could have been different, that they could have been freer to show their love. Now he and Merlin's mother were on their way to the crematorium to say their goodbyes. It was all so pointless and heart-breaking. Just three weeks ago Parliament had passed the Act which would have allowed Arthur and Merlin to have lived their lives openly and shown their love to the world. Now all he would have to show for their time together was to be able to acknowledge their love on a marker place to remember Merlin.

At the time they meet Arthur had been Vice Chairman of his father's company at the time and Merlin had applied for the job as his secretary, it had been quite a surprise at the time for a man to apply for such a post. But as the best qualified person Arthur had taken him on, and after a few weeks when both men thought they had made a mistake, they settled into a good working relationship. It had taken a long time for either of them to admit they fancied each other. After all at the time homosexuality was a criminal offence and neither wanted to risk exposing themselves.

After they had talked and admitted their feelings it had only been three months before they had moved in together. They used the excuse that as Merlin's flat was being demolished for a new development and Arthur had room in his flat. At first they made out it was temporary then Merlin just never moved out. Then Merlin became Arthur's PA when the blonde took over as CEO when his father retired. Both men had been very discreet about their relationship after all it was no one else's business. Only their closest friends and Arthur's sister and Merlin's mother knew the truth. Arthur kept it from his father.

Within their own four walls the couple had been loving and tactile with each other, but as far as most of the word knew they were just very good friends and no more. Arthur knew Merlin would have loved to have walked holding hands and sharing loving looks when they went out. And so would he have, once he got over the initial shock of admitting to someone else that he had what his father and most of the world called immoralities.

What was nearly breaking Arthur was the fact that it seemed that after all this time together an act was about to be passed that would have allowed then to live as a couple openly, without risking imprisonment. He couldn't help remember Merlin's excitement as it looked more and more likely that the new act would pass. Arthur had still been more cautious as always.

"Love we will still need to be careful things won't change overnight just because we won't face prison, the world will still be full of homophobic people" He remembered telling Merlin

"But we can still sit out in the garden and make out if we want, and show our love, it won't be a dirty little secret anymore. When we go on holiday we can walk hand in hand. Alright I know you don't want it to affect your business, I see that I really do but still things are happening." Merlin's eyes had sparkled.

It really seemed like life was going to improve for them. The they had had to go to a business meeting and decided to travel by train to save the long drive up north, on their way back the train they were on crashed and although Arthur had escaped with minor injuries Merlin had suffered a critical head injury that the doctors warned Arthur that he was unlikely to survive next twenty four hours. It was so unfair.

It was just after this that Morgana, Arthur's sister and Hunith, Merlin's mother, arrived to sit with him as Merlin took his final breathes. He had never regained consciousness. Arthur never had the chance to say his last 'I love you' or goodbye. The grief he shared with Hunith was crippling for them both. Arthur was determined to look after Hunith like Merlin would have done. After all she was more of a parent that his own father had ever been. After Merlin's death Arthur had told the world and his father of the love he had shared with Merlin. His father had immediately disowned him and would have taken the company from him if he had been able to. But he had long since handed over control to his son.

The funeral was a small affair, at a crematorium, with just the people who had accepted the news of the two men's relationship. Arthur refusing to allow business associates and those who were just curious to attend. He couldn't bear the thought of Merlin memory in any way being tainted by a media frenzy or homophobic remarks there had been enough of that in the press already. Once Arthur had got over the first shock of his partners death he had decided there and then not to hide the love they had shared. He would cope with the aftermath. But Merlin deserved honestly and for people to know just how much he would be missed. He had discussed his plans with Hunith and they both agreed. So each had a eulogy to read.

Hunith stood up first and with tears running down her face read out her tribute to her only child.

"This is something no parent should have to do. We all expect to go before our children. Merlin was the sweetest and kindest person I ever knew, always even from a very small boy he would help anyone and was always bringing injured birds and animals home to care for. He worked hard and was the most loving son anyone could have wished for. When he told me of his love for Arthur, he was scared I wouldn't accept it. I did, as long as he was happy I was. I meant it. Society is all too willing to condemn that which they don't understand. My boys never hurt anyone with their love and shouldn't have had to hide it." Hunith paused to control her emotions before looking at all the faces in front of her. "Thank you for accepting them. It meant so much to Merlin, he was so looking forward to not hiding his love but never had the chance." Looking at the coffin she said brokenly "I love you my son" With that she broke down and Arthur led her back to her seat.

Arthur then spoke. "Merlin was my life" he paused "He hated that what we had together was as he called it 'a dirty secret' He was never my dirty secret. We sometimes thought of moving somewhere we could be open and honest about the love we shared but never did. I wish he could have lived to see the passing of the recent law. Although I know that the fight has not yet been won. Prejudice is still out there and no law can change that. Merlin wanted to be able to walk down the street holding hands, and he should have been able to." Arthur hesitated before continuing "When I first met Merlin we fought, I wondered why I ever employed him, but he was good for me, he made me more human, a better person. It took us sometime to admit what we felt for each other, to be honest I think Hunith knew before we did. My sister certainly did. But I can say honestly the private times I shared with Merlin were the best times of my life. I will miss him and never find someone like him he was my soul mate. My one true love. I wish I had driven that day then we would still have been together." Arthur broke down unable to speak and Morgana stood up beside him and took the paper from her brother and continued to read

"He was fun, loving, clumsy a gentle. He was everything anyone could wish for in a partner and I loved him with all my heart. Nearly everyone who met Merlin felt the same way, he was one of those people who made friends wherever he went. He has left a very large whole not only in my heart but the world is a worse place without him. He took my heart with him when he died and I know I will never recover. So until we met again my love, rest in peace."

There wasn't a dry eye in the place when Morgana had finished. No one knew what to say to Hunith or Arthur but did their best. They would all be there for them in the coming weeks and onwards. Arthur had a plaque put on the wall of remembrance it said:

Merlin Emrys 1/1/1931 – 8/5/1967

Much loved son to Hunith Emrys and

Beloved Partner and best friend to Arthur Pendragon

In our hearts always

Although the couple had never discussed death in detail, somehow in their late thirties it hadn't seemed necessary, other than to say what they wanted done for a funeral. Each had made a will, to make sure the other would receive there due as a partner. Merlin had left a letter for both in which he asked that his ashes be placed in the same spot as his mothers and Arthurs. Saying "We were a family in life and I would like us to be family in death. I care not where I go other than that. But should I go first please remember me but don't spend you lives grieving. But live for me"

Arthur put a notice in the Times Arthur put a notice in the Times which read 'Merlin Emrys 1931-1967 Sadly passed away after a tragic accident. He will be great missed by his friends, mother and also his partner of ten years Arthur Pendragon. A wonderful man who should have been able to live in peace and as he wished, but it was not to be, but he lived long enough to know changes were on their way for others like him.'

Arthur was the last to go, he had kept both Merlin's and his mother in laws ashes and in the end they all were placed together under an oak tree in a natural burial site. Something that had started to happen in the later years of Arthur's life. Arthur knew that Merlin would have liked the idea of having a tree over his head and contributing to making a new wood. Arthur had done his best to live for Merlin and had become a loud voice in the Gay rights movement, helping gay people be able to live the lives he and Merlin had been prevented from having. But he never found anyone who could replace his first and only love. When he died in his early eighties he was at last seeing the sort of world he wanted. There was still some bigots out there but he lived to see Gays being allowed to marry and have families, something he knew Merlin would have loved. As he took his last breath he smiled and said to his sister, who was sat at his side. "I am going to my love, please don't cry. I am happy now"


End file.
